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Alex Jones can’t win these days. As the unofficial mascot of conspiracy theorists everywhere, Jones — the man who answers the question: What happens when you turn human skin inside-out and continue to wear it? — has seen his beloved InfoWars brand blocked on every major platform that isn’t a microblogging site disguised as a smoldering dumpster fire. Jones has 99 problems, currently, and the internet is the biggest of said problems, according to a botched lyrical representation of a Jay-Z song. And no, we’re not talking about his numerous pending defamation lawsuits, or even the “war on free speech 
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